Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
