Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
