why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
