Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
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