it glows. i had to have it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
