dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
