the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
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I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize