lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
