I have demons in me.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
My boob is missing a layer of skin
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
