My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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