what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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