I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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