we have pet lesbian snakes
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
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