weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You had me at "let me see your balls"
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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