you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
