A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
