dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
