i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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