don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
