What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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