found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
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