How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
