i barfeds in our rink
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
