her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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