North Korea, Best Korea!
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
