I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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