I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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