just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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