I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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