I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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