We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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