Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
