ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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