You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize