Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
