people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
