OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
