just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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