Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
