I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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