Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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