At least make sure they are 18
Why
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
