i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize