New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Can vaginas get frostbite?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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