I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
