what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
