it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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