bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
