why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize