she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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