I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
