..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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