Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
