Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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