just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Alive.
So much puke
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
