I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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