No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
