found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
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The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
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Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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