Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I FOUND THE LEGS
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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