Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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