Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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