do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
