Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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