she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
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I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
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watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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