My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
